I was told I would have bad karma.
A member of my family is not speaking to another member of the family. This has been going on for years. Rather than go into the drama of why she is not speaking to her, the family member just says, “She died in a mining accident!”
No further questions are asked. A look of horror passes over the questioner’s face and the subject is dropped.
We all thought this was best, since it really is boring to talk about family members’ wrong doings and such. And to play the victim is ridiculous. No one in my family is a victim. We may seek council from an attorney once in a while, but we are never victims.
One school day in the fall of fifth grade, our daughter was questioned about this family member as in, “Do you have any relatives living close by?” Our daughter answered, “Well, we did, but she died in a mining accident.” The teacher was not put off. He asked what mine. Our daughter said she did not know.
Since then we have filled in the blanks for everyone in our family, so that this second question does not throw us. Usually we just have to say, “She took one step back too far!”
Copyright Hollis Hildebrand-Mills 2014 All rights Reserved
Hollis Hildebrand-Mills 
Families, eh, who’d have them! Aren’t folk funny. We’re here for such a little time that quarrelling seems futile in the bigger scheme of things. It happens in all families though – to greater and lesser extents. Why why why?
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I don’t know. I totally agree with you about all families having troubles. But, be that as it may, sometimes, getting along cannot be done! And people can be nosy and judgmental, so it’s best to get out of that scrutiny! I wouldn’t recommend it for the faint of heart. Sometimes I feel guilty, I have to admit. And others, I remember what the source is. And I say: R.I.P.!
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If families can’t get along with each other how can we expect countries to…
“She took one step back too far!” Love that, Hollis!
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I know, it’s sad. But…if you only knew her, you too would say “She took one step back too far!” 🙂
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Like the post.. small little holes in the ground turned in our life to big cravesses or mines that no one ever manage to fill… sad. Some time on a very petty subjects…
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I agree, Doran! Sometimes little holes make bigger holes and soon we are in a terrible mess. But sometimes the mess is not our fault and it isn’t up to us to make the holes small again! 🙂 Cannot wait to see your watercolor landscapes again. I really am envious of the way you can do that! It looks easy but I know it isn’t!
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Hollis apology keeping you waiting but I take it easy as many days I am not that good. But as I said I will always come back. Thank you for your comment. I know water colours is harder then other mediums but trust me that with practice it always get easier. I have still some distance to cover to reach where I aim too. But I should do it more often instead of changing medium often 🙂
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Mom mother is really into family history and tracing ancestry. My, Dad, on the other hand, is not. The one time I asked him about his family history, he replied, “They’re a bunch of drunks,” and nothing more. I suspect there’s a bit more to them than that.
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Yes, Eric, I am afraid you have a mining accident story there! 🙂
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Like, the whole lot of them fell in!
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Good strategy. No point in going on about the negative. But what a teacher asking that question!
Our village shop is having its floor levelled, as it used to be two shops. I was standing there with my friend looking down in horror at the cellar, which is usually covered up – just a hole in the floor. No steps, just a narrow trapdoor. The potential for accidents or murder or stashing away of a body doesn’t bear thinking about. Your picture brought back that chill of imagining.
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Sounds really gruesome, that hole in the shop floor in your village! About the teacher, I don’t think he questioned our daughter’s story. He just wasn’t that bright. You know, really literal. So he asked, really asked, “What mine?” As if it had been on the news!
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Literal – or socially clueless perhaps.
I do love your approach to the family dispute, though.
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Hope she never found out! Hate to use cliches but so true, you can pick your friends but not family.
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Explanations to judgmental people are tough. “She died in a mining accident!” is a way to keep people from asking questions.
I am glad I picked you as a friend, Marjie! You would even be great as family!!!! 🙂
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Ditto!
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Oh man, what a story!!!!
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Thanks Luanne!
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Family, schamily, some people just cannot and should not be endured. Bring on the mines!
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Mareymercy, thanks! It should be in our demographic about us Free People types!
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I am chuckling because “That answers That!”
People should drop subjects, it is too bad when a family member is not able to be nice and part of their own family. I know this person stepped way over the line! Your family would have let a few mistakes go by, and forgiven them! I am like you, “Good riddance!” (I have given up two girlfriends who were ‘toxic,’ and one boyfriend, who wanted to stay just friends, due to his not leaving me alone, but not really wanting me. I hate being ‘toyed’ with, Hollis!)
Now, back to laughing…
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You know this, Robin: we Scorpio-tinged (me: Moon) (And you being a Scorpio Sun) people have a way about ending things. When it is over, it is over. Right?
This blog post is more, though, as you “got it”, about having no patience for the judgement that people can dole out when “inquiring” about your life. The mining accident was a way of getting those types of people off my back. (And they do judge…you are supposed to tolerate all this crap from your family just because they are your family!)
Sorry to say, sorry for me, it took a lot of patience leading up to this story about the mine! (And I don’t always use it. It doesn’t come into play too often, thank God!)
Kudos to you for dumping the toxic ones. Not good to hang around that. And if you ever want to even think about borrowing my mining accident story, it may give you a laugh during a bad situation! 🙂
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great story Hollis 🙂 I chuckled at the end… but it’s really sad (tragic even) how sometimes a bitter enemy is also a close family member. There is more than one aunt at the bottom of my own mineshaft.
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The ones who are toxic do find their way to the mine! (I get the sad part too. I think it’s because so much is expected from family members. And I think, in this case, too, it was because some family members think they can treat you anyway they want to!) Hence, the mine shaft!
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This was terrific. I wish our family had such a story to cover the feuds
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Thank you, John.
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LOL. That’s awesome. Nice conversation ender. I may use it in the future. 🙂
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…and to think my 7th grade history teacher was interested in knowing which mine she passed away in. Lol.
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I thought it was 5th grade!!! Oh well, the teacher was rather cold anyway. What if it had really happened? What a question to ask!!! Thanks for the comment!!
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😀 I’ll have to remember this one next time anyone asks about a certain family member of mine. “She took one step back too far”…Love it.
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You APPRECIATE it! Thank you, Elizabeth!
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