Day Seventy-Three/Image Seventy-Three

“Afloat” Image. Ceres Gallery. New York. Solo Show.

Some people seem to be surrounded by rainbows and moonlight. They seem to have the freedom to fly away at whim. Not me. I get called for jury duty. I have served on about twenty juries, criminal and civil. This is the opposite of moonlight, rainbows and being free.

When I am stuck in the courtroom, waiting to be called for my interview in front of everyone, (of course, having to stand while being interviewed for selection) a slow anxiety permeates the room. It’s always a red room, which, to me makes it worse.

First off, in murder trials, there is the alleged murderer looking at me. Pointing at me, indicating to his lawyer he wants ME to be on the jury. There is this suffocating feeling of never being able to leave.

In civil trials, there is haggling in the jury room over the amount of money the plaintiff wants in the case. We always agonize over this one. Trying so hard to be fair. One jury I was a part of, we figured out the woman was due two million dollars! Because we took so long, the poor woman panicked, and told her lawyer she would settle for three hundred thousand. All those hours going over facts for nothing!

It is always in the fall of the year. The notice comes. And that get-away plane looks pretty good. I usually am feeling like I am coming down with something. One year I was in a health food store and I told the person behind the check out about my always being called. She said “It’s your energy field.” And handed me the card of some healer and energy mover.

I told my friend in San Francisco. And how, I said, will I know if my energy field has changed? She said, you won’t be called for jury duty anymore.